Nurturing calm in birth
Birth (or the anticipation of labour) brings out many emotions… and calm is often not one of them! However, a sense of calm can support the beautiful mixture of waiting and working, movement and rest—and the intricate balance of hormones—that make up birth. Through preparation and intention, you can work to bring calm to your labour experience—and that can give your body more opportunities to self-regulate—leading to even more calm in your birth! Does that sound intriguing (or impossible)? I encourage you to keep reading below for tips on things you can do to encourage calm in labour:
1. Have a plan. Nurturing calm in birth starts in pregnancy. Understanding what to expect in labour, setting some goals that reflect who you are and what matters to you, preparing for the first moments with baby and getting ready for the early days of postpartum can contribute to feeling capable and in control as your birth story unfolds. Many of the ideas that follow below can also be part of how you plan!
2. Choose your village. From the birth stories others tell you, to the messages of social media, to the beliefs your loved ones have about birth—be aware of who you allow to influence your mindset as you prepare for birth. Surrounding yourself with others who support your birth plans, who will cheer you on 100%, and who make you feel safe, not stressed, can support you mentally and emotionally and make an incredible difference to your—and your baby’s—calm and well-being both during labour and after.
3. Hire a doula. Adding a doula to your village is arguably an essential part of birth in the 21st century. In a world where birth is increasingly medicalized, and where many birthers expect to experience only pain, fear and/or a lack of control, a doula can help you find your way—guiding you to a place of knowledge and power, and promoting calm through their wealth of birth knowledge, their one-on-one care and their ability to hold space. (And don’t be fooled… doula support is important in any birth journey, not just for homebirth or natural birth!)
4. Labour at home for a while. Whenever possible, spending the first part of birth at home—away from monitors, institutional policies and hospital gowns—can help your body get into its birthing rhythm and boosts its ability to progress from early to active labour. The hormones of labour will do their dance—including the endorphins that help you cope and find your inner strength and the oxytocin that helps you feel connected and calm. And once you do go to the hospital (if that’s where you are birthing) your calm will be well-established… along with your labour!
5. Go to Vegas vagus! (Thankfully, what happens in the vagus does NOT stay in the vagus.) Instead, when the vagus—a nerve bundle that runs from your brain down through much of your body— is activated, it switches on your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps control feelings of calm and relaxation. Including simple comforts in labour such as cold cloths, pressure points and vocalization (more on this below) are some of the ways you can trigger this nerve bundle and promote calm in your body.
6. Guard your privacy. In an era of bright lights, beeping monitors and sterile rooms—and people coming and going from hospital birth rooms at will—it can be hard to imagine a birth where privacy exists. But it matters. And making it a priority in birth can be transformative. Birthing should ideally happen in dimly lit, quiet, undisturbed spaces. Twinkle lights, candles, and caregivers you know and trust? Yes, please! Loud voices, interruptions, and unnecessary people in the room? No, thank you!
7. Find ways to feel loved and safe. Modern medicine carries with it the idea of making birth safer. And there are absolutely times where the interventions and knowledge that we have today can save a life or prevent harm. Unfortunately, modern medicine doesn’t carry with it the intimacy and safety that birth thrives in—the feeling of comfort and caring that you get when you’re in a favourite place in nature or spending quality time with someone who loves you. Nurturing that sort of safety in labour can make all the difference in the world—and is an important part of the calm-produces-calm cycle that is part of birth when it’s at its best.
8. Surround yourself with affirmation. Nurturing calm in birth is supported (or interrupted) by the words that are spoken to us—and the words we speak to ourselves. Consider writing affirmations for yourself during pregnancy, create a playlist to surround yourself with music that you enjoy, and invite people into the room who will bring encouragement, love, and positivity. (And don’t invite (or go ahead and un-invite!) anyone who doesn’t bring calm into the birth space.)
9. Make some noise! Remember the vagus nerve we looked at earlier? One of the most effective ways to utilize its superpowers—and support the calm it shares with your body in birth—is through vocalization. In fact, as labour progresses from early contractions to the longer and more intense surges of active labour and into the peak of transition, a birther’s natural inclination is often to make some noise. Low moans, guttural sounds, or audible breath can all be part of the body’s instinctive coping mechanism for the process of birth. These vocalizations help activate the vagus nerve and are an effective pain management tool as well.
10. Trust the process. Birth matters! As women, we are familiar with the messages that tell us we are not enough, or too much. This can continue in pregnancy and birth, when we’re told our bodies are inadequate; we might be told that we’re too old, our baby is too big or our pelvis is too small—and that birth will be too much. And we doubt ourselves. Understanding birth, learning how your body and your baby can work together to create magic, and surrendering to that process can help you birth with more calm—and less fear.
Want to know more? Looking for support in finding calm in birth? Reach out for a no cost, no pressure consultation about my doula services, or register for a childbirth class today!
Wishing you calm and success in your birthing journey.